Tomorrow I'm going to see my friend Sara's art piece. She doing something with The Roof here in Chicago. As far as I can understand there are several big arty billboards being hung or maybe just one arty billboard being hung but for sure Sara has HER arty billboard being hung.

It (Sara's Billboard) is a Salute To Famous Fatties. Sara describes herself as a fat activist and herself as a fatty much as an activist lesbian might describe herself as a Dyke or a black person as a Nigga. It's supposed to be a reclamation. And I'm all in favor of a wider range of bodies being seen as not just acceptable but also attractive and desirable. So I'm all in favor of art that promotes this particular point of view.

I feel weird about the famous fatties. I once worked as a walking messenger in Seattle and it was the only time I had to worry about eating enough calories. Shortly after I moved into an apartment with my boyfriend, an excellent cook, I stopped being a messenger, started working as a dispatcher, and gained 70 pounds.

One of the messengers, my friend Petey, tried consoling me by telling me about Buddha and how his wisdom was measured by his girth...the fatter he became the more wise he was. It was meant in a spirit of kindness but it totally freaked me out. I didn't want to make friends with the idea of being fat. I wanted to cloud everyone's minds so that no one would be aware of me being fat.

This, to some extent, is still true. I want to take the homeless guys aside who address me as, "Hey Big Guy!" and say, "look, do you realize the inherent shortcomings of your pitch here? Call me...strong man. Masculine dude. Whatever. But "big guy" isn't doing it on the spare change front." I don't want Sara to celebrate "From Buddha to Biggie" on her billboard. I want the norm to be me, I don't want to be an activist but a pacifist.

I'm about ten days away from being 34 years old. When I was a kid, kids were skinny except for those who were the fat kids, like me. Today, at least here in Chicago, kids seem to be mostly kind of fat. So maybe I don't have to be an activist. Maybe I can give it some time and the youthful norm will be Plump.

A woman once told me that I was "well-marbled" which is my all time favorite euphemism for being overweight.